A Songbird Who Sings
by Jaylen
Summary: Also called the Great Quest for Yugi's Head. Major everyone-bashing. A little romance. Mostly humor. You could call it action/adventure. I WILL update soon!!!
1. Chapter One

Disclaimer: I do not own Yu-Gi-Oh, nor does Taylor who helped me write this, or Gari who helps me write other stuff.  
  
Authors note: This is one of my favorites of all the fics I've written (I know, that's really sad). Anyway, this fic makes fun of pretty much everyone. Except for the people who aren't in it. Wait, okay, yeah. We're (me and Taylor who helped me write this) probably going to put everyone in this fic and make fun of them, but so far, all we've got is Yugi, Yami, Tea, Tristan, and Mokuba. If you like them and don't want to read a fic where they're made fun of, don't read this. Anyway, this is supposed to be humorous. I don't know if anyone else is going to think so. I do, but then again, I have a strange sense of humor. Oh yeah, and I am a girl by the way, even though I have a boy's name. Yeah, people in the Harry Potter section got mad at me for writing "girly stories" because they thought I was a boy. And Taylor and Gari are girls too. Yup. Anyway, this is just something that I had to write. I couldn't think of a title, so I was listening to a song and picked the first phrase I heard. The song was "Stairway to Heaven" by Jana which is really good. You should listen sometime. Anyway, so this is my fic. Don't ask.  
  
A Songbird Who Sings  
  
Yugi Moto was walking down the sidewalk thinking. He was thinking about stuff that no one else his age ever thought about. He was thinking about winning the Battle City tournament, saving the world, his Yami (who, by the way, was asleep. Yugi should have let him out for exercise. When Yami doesn't exercise, he gets sleepy. After all, he is 5,000 years old), and of course, Tea. Actually, maybe other people his age thought about Tea. Yugi wouldn't know.   
Yugi approached the crosswalk and began to walk across the street. Silly Yugi! If he had been tall enough, he would have seen that the crosswalk sign said "Don't Walk" but Yugi was too short. He was only about 1/4 the size of a normal man. If he had let Yami get some exercise, he could have called Yami out and Yami could have seen the sign. But, instead, Yugi chose to take the risk. Yugi, Yugi, Yugi.  
  
Tristan Taylor was riding his motorcycle. He felt very special. And he was thinking too. But he thought about stuff that other guys thought about. Like, girls for instance. One girl in particular. Tristan was going to visit Serenity. He had just gotten back from visiting Serenity when he realized he had nothing else to do because he is a loser. So, he decided to go hang out with Serenity some more.   
There's a stoplight! I think I can make it before it turns red! Better speed up just in case! Tristan made it through the stoplight alright, but he crashed into something on the way through. What are they doing putting speed bumps underneath a stoplight? Tristan wondered. Oh well. But I need to be more careful. I mean, if I'm not, I might get in trouble with the police.   
  
The Spirit of the Millennium Puzzle was angry. He was angry at the people at millenniumstuff.com for giving him such a short hikari. It seemed like every time they put him in a new item, the person just died again! Ooh, he didn't even want to think about what happened to the person with the Millennium Pencil Sharpener. Well, at least he had liked Yugi okay. And he got to play cards. The girl with the Millennium Brad Pitt poster hadn't liked him at all. She was very disappointed that he wasn't Brad Pitt. You'd think a 5,000 year old Pharaoh of Ancient Egypt would be good enough for her, but no! And this Millennium Puzzle. That was a stupid name. It sounded like it was actually one of the Millennium Items, and everyone knew that the stuff off of millenniumstuff.com was fake. I wonder where they'll put me next. He thought. The Millennium Sombrero? No, I can't speak Spanish. The Millennium Egg Beater? Maybe... Well, first he was going to go visit his grandma in the Millennium Knitting Needles, and then maybe his girlfriend in the Millennium C-cup. Forget Yugi!   
  
Tea Gardner was walking down the sidewalk. She saw something lying in the middle of the street. Eww...roadkill. Better take the next crosswalk. She passed the thing but then did a double take. The thing had spiky hair. Just like her friend Yugi!  
"Yugi!" She ran over to him. "Oh Yugi! Our friendship! What about our friendship!" Being stupid like Tea is, she grabbed her deck of cards out of her pocket and threw it in the air. The cards scattered all over the place. Tea began to cry. "Friendship, Yugi. Friendship..." A tear landed on one of her cards, the Magician of Faith.  
"What? Hang on..." the Magician of Faith emerged from her card and pulled a mirror out of her pocket. "YOU SMUDGED MY INK!!! Girl, you are gonna pay for this. But first I'm supposed to grant you three wishes. You just have to give me a reason why because I don't give you stuff just because you want it."  
"Really?" Tea asked, her face shining.  
"Yes, now hurry up and wish! Oh yeah, and you WILL get me repainted after this, hear me?"  
"Okay, I wish that Yugi was alive again!"  
"Why?"  
"For our friendship!"  
"Right, okay." The Magician of Faith waved her wand thingy and Yugi woke up.  
  
Yugi opened his eyes. His vision was swimming. He couldn't remember what happened. Well, actually, he did remember a bright light and being knocked on the ground.  
"Oh Yugi! I thought you were gone forever. Our friendship-"  
"Forget friendship, Tea!"  
  
Tea gasped. What did Yugi mean by that? Wasn't friendship the most important thing in the world?  
Yugi grabbed her shoulders and pulled her face toward his.   
"Eww...nasty! Yugi, you're gross! Hey, my second wish." She yelled to the Magician of Faith "Send him back! He just tried to kiss me!"  
"Fair enough." Said the Magician of Faith.   
  
The Spirit of the Millennium Puzzle was mad. He had just been whisked away from eating cookies with his grandma and then sent right back again. Stupid kids...  
  
Oh no! What have I done? Tea asked herself. How could I do this to my friend? "Wait! Never mind that wish. Bring him back. I love him!" Tea cried.   
"Hang on. I don't do love, okay? All that mushy gushy stuff...just...no."  
"Well, okay...bring him back for friendship then."   
The Magician of Faith sighed. Tea is a loser. LOSER.   
  
Again, Yugi opened his eyes. His vision was swimming. He saw Tea hovering above him. "Oh Yugi, I love you!" She reached down to hug him but just then someone pushed Yugi down and slinked his puny 10-year-old arm around her shoulder.  
"Hey baby, forget this loser. Come with me. We can get married and then you can come live in my mansion with me...and my BIG BROTHER!!!"   
Can you guess who this was?   
  
The Spirit of the Millennium Puzzle was happy. He was happy Yugi was alive again. If Yugi had been dead, then the people at millenniumstuff.com would have put him in the Millennium Harmonica. That would have been embarrassing.   
  
Authors note: As you can see, we're not finished yet. We haven't made fun of Joey, Serenity, Mai, Kaiba, Grandpa, Marik, Pegasus, Isis, Rex, Weevil, Duke Devlin, Mako, or Bakura yet. Anyway me and Taylor will have a sleepover some time in the next year and we'll update. R+R (well, I know it's probably a little late for that since you've most likely already read). Okay, please review. I just ask you to please not tell me that our story sucks. And if you do, at least tell me how I could make it better. It doesn't help at all to yell at me and then not tell me how to fix it.   
-__~ Jay 


	2. Chapter Two

Disclaimer: I don't own Yugioh or anything like it (actually, I own something like it but that's not important right now).  
Authors note: This is the second chapter. We make fun of more people. It's kind of self-explanitory.   
-___~  
Jay  
  
Ryou Bakura was happy. He was extremely happy. He was happy because he was out on a lovely Saturday afternoon riding around in his monster truck. Silly Ryou. Don't you know that monster trucks are dangerous? And that you have a 5,000 year old tomb robber for a yami who likes to banish everyone in sight to the Shadow Realm?   
  
Bakura (the evil tomb robber) was mad. He was extremely mad. He was mad because Ryou was out on a lovely Saturday morning riding around in his monster truck. And Ryou wouldn't let him drive! //Ryou, I want to drive now!//  
\\You can't\\  
//Please!//  
\\No\\   
//Fine, then I'll just have to be forceful with you.// Bakura had never hurt Ryou in his life, but Ryou was a scaredy-cat so if Bakura said he wanted something, he usually got it.  
\\Okay, okay. You can drive. Just don't hurt anyone, okay?\\  
  
Mokuba Kaiba was bored. He was extremely bored. He was bored because he was being hugged in a death grip by Tea Gardner, who was also hugging Yugi. This had been going on for about twenty minutes. If Tea wasn't so 'friendship' and all that, she would be smart enough to ditch this lame-o Yugi and come with him. But, Tea was a loser, what's new.  
  
Bakura (the evil tomb robber) was having the time of his life. He had discovered that it was easier to just run over things in a huge truck than banish them to the Shadow Realm. He had already run over six houses, forty-seven trees, and thirty-one cars. //Hey Ryou, this is fun! You should let me do this more often!//  
\\Yeah, well, just be careful. I mean, you've already hit several buildings haven't you? Just try not to hit any people. And don't drive on the main roads.\\   
I wonder what a main road is Bakura thought. But he didn't say anything. Main roads could be fun. He'd just have to find one first.   
  
Yugi Moto was getting a little sick of being hugged by Tea. This was just friendship. He wanted some more action. This was boring.   
  
Bakura (the evil tomb robber) had found a main road. Yahoo! //Ooh, look Ryou, there's some people. Maybe I should tell them to move!//  
\\Bakura, I told you, stay off the main roads!\\   
//Ha ha ha! This is fun! Oh look! It's little Yugi and Tea, and that Kaiba boy's little brother. Fun fun fun!//  
\\Bakura, don't!\\  
But it was a little too late for that.   
  
Tea Gardner was scared. She was scared because a big truck had come along right as she was about to kiss Yugi. And I'm talking really big. The wheels were about as tall as her. That's big. Now, she and Mokuba were lucky. They hadn't been run over. Just Yugi. The big huge wheel had drove right over him.   
Okay, now I have to cry so the Magician of Faith will come out! Tea thought. The only problem was that she wasn't really sad. So what do I do now? She wondered. Even though she wasn't crying didn't mean that she didn't like Yugi. Well, maybe it did. Who knows.  
She looked at Yugi, but then looked away. He was completely disgusting. Even more mangled and distorted than he had been before. But, I suppose after you've been run over by a motorcycle and then a monster truck, you're not really going to be beautiful.   
She sat there pondering, eyes completely dry, for about ten minutes, and then it came to her. "Mokuba, do you have a lemon?"  
  
The Spirit of the Millennium Puzzle was really mad. Yugi had died AGAIN! He was now sitting in front of a desk labeled "Fred James." The man sitting at the desk must be Fred James he thought to himself. Oh, isn't Yami intelligent?  
"Hello, sir. You must be the former Spirit of the Millennium Puzzle."  
"What do you mean, former? I am the Spirit of the Millennium Puzzle!"  
"Well, you see. That's what we brought you here to talk about. In case you didn't know, I am Fred James, one of the managers of millenniumstuff.com. Due to several sudden deaths of your hikari, we have decided to permanently move you to a new item."  
"What is it?" asked Yami, his face going white.  
"The Millennium Harmonica." Said Fred, his face going white.  
"Noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!!!!!!!!!!!!"  
  
"What do you want my lemon for?" Mokuba asked, confused.   
"Just give it here!" Tea grabbed the lemon and cut it in half, wondering where she got the knife. She didn't have it before.  
"Noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!!!!!!!!!!!!" Mokuba cried. "That was my favorite lemon ever!"  
"Too bad!" Tea said, and began to squeeze lemon juice into her eyes. "Owwww! It burns! Mokuba, get me a hose! Hurry!" Tea sat there panting, crying, and trying to get a tear to fall on the Magician of Faith.   
  
Bakura (the evil tomb robber) was delighted. He had run over three people in one day. //Okay Ryou, I think I've had enough fun for today--//  
\\--wonderful!\\  
//Just kidding! I haven't killed enough people yet!//  
\\Great Scott! Bakura, did you kill someone?\\  
//Yup!//  
  
Mokuba was not going to get Tea a hose. She didn't deserve it. After what she had done to his lemon! He was never going to speak to her again. His big brother would show her!  
  
Tea was still trying unsuccessfully to get a tear to fall on the Magician of Faith. This is pointless she thought. It's not working. But I have to bring Yugi back!   
  
Bakura is still on a mad rampage through the city. This is the first time he has ever driven anything. He sure likes it.  
  
Tea finally got a tear to fall on the Magician of Faith. She emerged looking even worse than she did before. She was smudged in two places.  
"What now?" She asked looking very bored. She looked down at herself. "You didn't get me repainted! I will kill you for this! But first I have to give you three wishes. Except this time, I'm only giving you one because you didn't repaint me!"  
"That's all I need." Said Tea. "I wish Yugi was alive, for our friendship."  
"Did he die again?"  
  
Yugi's Yami was happy. He was out of the Millennium Harmonica. That was very good.  
  
Bakura (the evil tomb robber) wasn't very happy. He had been dragged into some guy's office. Now he was sitting in front of a desk labeled "Fred James." The man sitting behind the desk must be Fred James he thought.   
"Hello. I'm Fred James. And I believe you are the former Spirit of the Millennium Ring."  
"What do you mean, former? I am the Spirit of the Millennium Ring!"  
"Well, not anymore. Due to some changes, we have decided to permanently move you to a new location."  
"Where?" Asked Bakura, his face turning white.  
"The Millennium Harmonica." Said Fred, his face turning white.  
"Noooooooooooooooooooo!!!!!!!!!"  
  
Authors note: Right. I didn't like that chapter as much as the first one. Oh well. At least we made fun of Bakura. I like the monster truck though. That was fun. Anyway, do you people want me to finish this? I mean, it has no plot line whatsoever and I don't know if people like it or not. Just give me some reviews.  
Thanx! -___~  
Jay 


	3. Chapter Three

Disclaimer: I don't own Yugioh. Nope. And if there is such a thing as millenniumstuff.com, I don't own it either. I'm just borrowing it.   
Authors Note: I don't really like this chapter. I thought the first one was the best. I kind of ran out of ideas after that. Okay, so, this is my chapter. It's kinda short but it's fun too. I'm kind of getting writers block here. Don't eat me!   
  
For the third time in one half-hour, Yugi opened his eyes. Well, one of his eyes. Or should I say, his eye. One of his eyes was gone. But, he'd been run over by a motorcycle and a monster truck in the past thirty minutes, so that's all that can be expected.  
He saw with his one eye, a very strange sight. Tea was rolling around in the middle of the road screaming bloody murder while Mokuba was holding half a lemon in his right hand and sobbing like a baby.   
On the ground next to him, was a very smudged up Magician of Faith card. "You know Tea, you really should get this card repainted."  
  
"Not you too!" Tea was in a very bad mood with the Magician of Faith. And now Yugi was starting to act like her too.  
"Well, um, could you tell me what happened here?"   
"Oh, no." Tea didn't even want to think about it. Mokuba had come back from getting her some water with a bottle of freshly squeezed lemon juice and sprayed it in her eyes until they turned red. Then he had gone back to mourning for his lost lemon. Tea was ready to kill him.  
  
Seto Kaiba was slightly confused. His brother had left the house this morning saying that he was going to get married, but he had come back this afternoon yelling about killing someone. And then he had stolen a bottle of lemon juice from the kitchen. This made absolutely no sense whatsoever.   
  
Joey Wheeler was in his kitchen. He was supposed to be doing his homework. But Joey never did his homework, so what was the point of starting now? Maybe he would go for a walk. Who cared about linear equations anyway?  
  
Tristan Taylor was in Serenity's room. Serenity was asleep. Tristan didn't want to leave because he heard that someone had gotten run over on Domino Street. He didn't want to run into them.   
  
Just as Joey was about to leave to go on his walk, the phone rang. "Um...hi..." Joey never had been good with telephones. He considered talking on the phone to be girl stuff.   
"Hello, may I speak with Joseph Wheeler please?" Said a voice on the other line.  
"Um...yeah...that would be me..."  
"Ah, Mr. Wheeler. Well, we just wondered if you knew the whereabouts of a friend of yours, Mr. Tristan Taylor?"  
"Sure, he's visiting my-hang on a second. What do you want him for?"  
"Mr. Wheeler, this is the Domino City Police. We have reason to believe that Mr. Taylor hasn't been a very safe driver. That he's been possibly driving while intoxicated."  
"Um, what's intoxicated mean?"  
  
Joey ran down the sidewalk, panting. He had to tell Tristan that the police were after him. He had started running to the hospital but then realized that it would be a lot quicker if he just called. So, he ran back home.   
"Tristan, listen, the police are after you. They just called me here, but I didn't tell them where you were. They said you were intoxicated, whatever that means."  
"What!?! I'm not drunk. I just went over a speed bump a little too fast!"  
  
Tea had finally stopped rolling around in the middle of the street long enough to go and get the Magician of Faith repainted. Of course, Yugi couldn't move, so he just stayed in the middle of the road. Now, they (Tea, Yugi, and Mokuba) were all back in the middle of the road happily hugging each other.   
Unfortunately, this happy moment was short-lived. All of a sudden, a whole fleet of police cars thundered down the road. Tea and Mokuba jumped out of the way, but Yugi wasn't so lucky.   
  
Tristan Taylor didn't know what to do. He just went over a speed bump too fast. And now the police were after him! This was crazy!   
  
The owner of the Millennium Harmonica was as mad as they come. He now had an evil, insane, white-haired guy who thought he was a tomb robber for a yami. How unfair is that?   
  
Tea began to cry. She had just heard that Tristan was under arrest for drunk driving. Tristan didn't drink, did he? And Yugi had been run over AGAIN!!! Honestly, would he ever stop dying?   
  
The Spirit of the Millennium Puzzle was happy. Now that Yugi was dead, he could finally go visit his girlfriend. She was in the Millennium C-cup. That made the Spirit happy. At least he wasn't in the Millennium Harmonica. He'd heard that they gave that job to someone else. He was just happy it wasn't him.   
  
Tea cried on the Magician of Faith (with a little help from Mokuba's lemon juice). The Magician of Faith came out of her card.  
"You smudged me again! You only get two wishes this time!"  
"Hmm...What to wish for...Okay, I got it. I wish that Yugi was alive again for our friendship, and that he was okay, as in not hurt, so he can get off the street so he won't die again."  
"Right, get me repainted and I'll give you those two wishes after lunch."  
"WHAT???"  
  
Mokuba Kaiba was in love. With Tea. Tea of all people, okay? His big brother didn't like Tea much. But he did. She just liked that loser Yugi, who, by the way, was dead as of right now. But he was cooler than Yugi. He could buy Tea cool stuff because his big brother was rich. REALLY rich. So, all he had to do was get Tea to ditch the dead boy and come with him and then everything would be cool.  
  
Authors Note: Right, I know that was messed up. I'm running out of ideas! If anyone has an idea that you want me to put in here, tell me! I need help! Anyway, was it good, did it suck? How did you like my story so far?  
-___~  
Jay 


	4. Chapter Four

Disclaimer: I do not own Yu-Gi-Oh or any of the characters.  
Authors Note: I am really sorry it took me so long to update. I will do better next time. Anyway, I was writing another fic and I just didn't have time to do both. I'm going to try to update again pretty soon. Anyway, I hope you like this chapter. No flames please. If you don't like it, give me CONSTRUCTIVE CRITICIZM! Okay, that's about it for this authors note, so READ!!!!  
  
Tea Gardner was soooooooo angry at her Magician of Faith. Stupid card. Couldn't even give her two wishes without being repainted. How was she ever going to get Yugi back? Lunch wasn't for about three more hours!!! This was so unfair. I mean, what was the Magician of Faith's problem? Man, cards can be so dense sometimes.   
  
Mokuba Kaiba had a really good idea. An idea of how he could get Tea to like him. You see, he knew her Magician of Faith card was being mean and wouldn't bring Yugi back to life, so he decided he would go buy her another one. What a perfect plan!!!  
  
Tea was still sitting in the middle of the road, but it wasn't much fun. She kept having to jump out of the way for cars. Mokuba said he was thirsty and had to go get some water. She hoped he would be back soon. As much as she disliked him, she had to admit, he WAS a better companion than a dead person or a mean Magician of Faith.   
"Hey, Tea baby, I got you something." Mokuba wiggled his eyebrows at her.   
"Um...okay..."  
"Watch, and be amazed!" Mokuba whipped something out from behind his back. "Ta da! Your own, personal, Magician of Faith!"  
"What? But I already have a Magician of Faith. And she's being really evil right now!"  
"And that makes all the difference!" Mokuba rested his chin on her shoulder. "You see, this one might be nice, you never know!"  
"Okay, that was really nice of you and stuff, but your chin is really pointy and sharp and you're hurting me." Tea pushed Mokuba off of her and swiped the other half of the lemon from his hand. "Card, please."  
  
Bakura (the evil tomb robber, now the inhabitant of the Millennium Harmonica) was not very happy. The owner of the Millennium Harmonica had a Volkswagen Beetle, which wasn't any good for running things over. Man, he liked Ryou a lot better!   
  
Tea's new Magician of Faith emerged from her card. She was smudged, but she just giggled and did a few pirouettes in the air when she was released. She continued to dance around in the street, not paying any attention to Tea at all.   
"Um, Hello! I'm supposed to get three wishes!"   
"Oh, yes! Whatcha want?"  
"I would like you to bring my friend Yugi back to life...because we're friends and I miss him."  
"What?" The Magician of Faith looked at Tea very strangely. "Wait, no, I have a better idea." She waved her wand-thingy at Yugi. Nothing happened.  
"Um, what did you just-" Tea jumped out of the way of a passing Volkswagen Beetle driving about 100 miles an hour going in the wrong direction, which drove right over Yugi's head and severed it from his body. "-do?"  
"I put a spell on his lips. Now, all you have to do is kiss him and he'll come back to life!" With that said, the Magician went back into her card.  
"EWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!! No way, I'm not kissing Yugi unless his head is put back on his body!!!" Tea looked around. "Magician? Where are you? I get another wish, don't I? Hey, where did you go???"  
"Come on Tea baby, Yugi can wait, don't you want to come with me and-"  
"No, not really. I just want Yugi's head put back on him."  
"Well fine, I'll just take my card and leave." Mokuba got up and stalked off.  
"No! Mokuba, wait! Bring the card back!" Tea ran after him.  
  
Tristan Taylor slowly and quietly slunk through the alleyways of Domino City. He couldn't let the police see him. He turned his head a bit and saw a very strange sight. His best friend Yugi was lying in the middle of the street. At least, his head was in the middle of the street. His body was a little closer to the sidewalk.  
"Yugi? Oh my god, Yugi's dead!" Tristan ran to the middle of the street and picked up Yugi's nasty, disgusting, bloody head. "Yugi, wake up! Buddy? Oh man, I better get out of here before the police see me! I think I'll take this head too so that I can remember Yugi."  
  
"Okay, Mokuba, you know what. I have to kiss Yugi. I mean, I really want him to come back to life."  
"Oh, alright. But promise me Tea, that you'll never love anyone but me."  
"Mokuba, I could never love anyone cough-lessthanyou-coughcough but you."  
"Okay then, lets go back to Yugi."  
  
Evil Bakura, now the Yami of the owner of the Millennium Harmonica, was happy. Man, this little car didn't look like much, but it could still run over people. The owner of the Millennium Harmonica was currently asleep in the Harmonica.  
"If you ask me, I don't know how he fits. He looks like a Sumo Wrestler." It was true that Bakura didn't like his new Hikari very much, but he did like this car.  
  
"Okay, here's Yugi. Now all I have to do is kiss that nasty, bloody, gory, disgusting, foul, vile, sickening, nauseating, horrible, hideous, repulsive, appalling-"  
"Okay Tea, that's enough, we get the point."  
"-head."  
"Wait, hang on, Tea, where is his head?"  
Tea and Mokuba looked around. Yugi's head was nowhere to be seen.   
"Oh my god, where is Yugi's head?"  
"Don't look at me! I didn't take it!"  
"Well, help me find it! I have to kiss it!"  
The two continued looking for about 30 minutes, but the head just wasn't there. That's when Mokuba came up with another big idea.  
"Hey, wait, I think I know this guy, he's psychic. He has blue hair and he wears pink. I can't remember his name though. But maybe he could find out where Yugi's head is using the cosmic forces of the universe."  
"What a great idea!"  
  
Joey Wheeler heard a knock on the door. "Man, if that's the police I'm gonna-" He couldn't think of what he was going to do, so he left it at that.  
As it turned out, he didn't have to worry about doing anything, because it wasn't the police. It was Mokuba and Tea.  
"Oh, hey guys. What's up?"  
"Joey, do you remember dueling some psychic guy with blue hair who wore pink? This is really important, we need to find him. He could be our only hope."  
"Your only hope for what?"  
"Finding Yugi's head."  
Joey bit his bottom lip and rolled his eyes around for a while, trying to figure out what they were talking about. He never did quite get it. "Okay, well, I don't know why you want to find him, but I think you're talking about Esper Roba, the psycho boy."  
"Joey, it's psych-IC!"   
  
Tristan Taylor buried his face in his hands. This had to be the worst day of his life. First, he had been accused of drunk driving and now his best friend Yugi had died. Don't tell me that's a good day.   
He was currently in the Domino Graveyard, burying Yugi's head. He had spray-painted the words "Yugi's Head" on a rock, and had picked a few three leaf clovers to put on his grave. "Can this day get any worse?"   
Yes, It definitely could.  
  
"Hang on guys, my phone is ringing." Joey walked back into his house and answered the phone. "Yeah...um...I'm here!"  
"Mr. Wheeler, I presume."  
"Yeah..."  
"Yes, this is the Domino City Police. We have heard from a few witnesses that not only has Mr. Tristan Taylor been driving while intoxicated, he's now on the run from the police and has also broken into the Domino City Cemetery and tried to dig up a grave. We believe it would be in your best interest to tell us anything you know about Mr. Taylor."  
"Um...sorry guys. No can do. Catch you later!"  
"Mr. Wheeler-"  
"Well guys, sounds like Tristan broke into the graveyard!"   
  
Authors Note: Okay, that was my chapter. Hope you liked it. Poor Tristan. Oh well, I don't like Tristan anyway. His hair...just...no. You don't wear your hair like that. Right, so, I hope people are finding this funny. They'll set off on their quest in the next chapter, but as of right now, they're just preparing. And Yugi will be alive at the end of the fic. I love him to much to let him die. Okay, that's about it so have a good day or night or whatever it currently is.  
~Jay 


	5. Chapter Five

Disclaimer: I don't own Yugioh. Neither do you. Probably. Unless you do. In which case you do own Yugioh.  
  
A/N: Yay. Chapter. Okay, this was co-written with Gari and she would be really mad if I didn't say it was, so...IT WAS CO-WRITTEN WITH GARI WHO DOESN'T HAVE A SCREEN NAME SO YOU CAN'T CATCH HER! Okay, this is a chapter. I say some stuff about a cult in here. That doesn't mean I'm making fun of cults, I just need it to be in here, kay? Don't flame!  
  
Tea Gardner gasped. Why would Tristan break into a place full of dead people? Wait...unless...unless he was part of that cult that was running around town these days. The cult that you had to eat a dead person's hair to be a part of.   
"Oh no!" Tea wailed. "What has happened to our friendship? How could he keep something like that from me and the rest of his lifelong friends?"  
"Keep what?" Joey asked.  
"Joey. Sit down with me. I have something very important to share with you." Tea shifted uneasily in her seat.  
"Uh-uh, Joey, you ain't goin' NOWHERE with Tea!" Mokuba crossed his arms and stood in front of Tea, a defiant look on his face.  
"Um...okay, if you don't want me to, I won't!" Joey looked the four feet down into Mokuba's eyes sarcastically.  
"You guys shouldn't fight! Fighting hurts friendship! This is a very tender moment here. We have to pull together at a time like this!" Tea started crying.  
Joey and Mokuba exchanged an exasperated glance.  
"Okay Tea," Joey sighed, "Whaddaya wanna tell us?"  
"Joey, be serious about this! This is not a laughing matter. I can't believe you would act so immature about this. Don't you understand? This is serious! How dare you speak with such a bored tone in your voice? This could affect your friendship for the rest of your life! I mean, don't you want to keep your friendship just the way it is? Imagine what it would be like if your friendship was completely ruined because you were not serious enough in a serious situation! Friendship is-"  
"Okay, really, we get it. Now...WHADDAYA WANNA TELL US?"  
Tea burst into tears.   
"Tea baby, don't cry! It's okay!" Mokuba reached up to hug her, unfortunately ending up on the floor after a ferocious punch in the gut from Tea.  
"You people just don't understand friendship!" Tea ran out the door sobbing and screaming nonsense words of the Culto Muerto del Cabello.[1]  
  
Tristan ran down the street thinking. He was thinking strange things, such as 'Oh darn, too bad I already buried Yugi's head...I could have been part of the Culto Muerto del Cabello. But, I guess I wouldn't really want to eat Yugi's hair. It looks too sharp. Oh well. Tea would kill me if I did. She'd feel like it would hurt our friendship."  
  
Joey and Mokuba ran after Tea.   
Mokuba was thinking. But not like Tristan thought. He was thinking about Tea. And about how she wasn't quite as utterly attractive as he used to think. And how she seemed to be quite sensitive about friendship and didn't care much about real relationships.   
Joey was thinking too. But nobody thought like Joey. In fact, nobody could quite tell what Joey thought. But I guess that can be expected.  
Finally, Tea got tired. Tired of crying, tired of running, tired of brushing hair out of her eyes (it made her think about the Culto Muerto del Cabello), and tired of her friendship with the insensitive Joey and the...ahem...INTERESTING relationship with Mokuba.   
Joey and Mokuba finally caught up with her and sat down on the bench next to her.   
"Guys, I have to tell you something."  
"Yeah, you've been trying to tell us something for quite some time now!"   
"No, but now I'm serious! I've tried giving you a second chance...and a third and fourth and fifth...and sixth...and seventh...and...and I think that's all there was. Anyway, what I'm trying to say is..."  
Joey leaned over to Mokuba. "Finally!" He whispered, just loud enough for Tea to hear.  
"Joey! I can't believe you!" Tea burst into tears again.  
"Okay, okay! I'm sorry!" Joey grabbed her shoulders and shook her very hard until she stopped crying.  
"Tea!" Mokuba yelled! "I just remembered! We have to find Yugi's head!"   
"Oh yeah..." Tea looked at both of them, a solemn expression on her face. "I think it's time to visit the psychic boy."  
  
Espa Roba was sleeping very un-soundly. Stupid baby brother number 8. Can't even sleep for an hour before he has to wake everybody up. And then number 2, always wanting some water, and that number 3 who can't ever seem to get his homework done on time, or even at all. Then of course, there was number 7 who hated his blue hair and wanted to dye it pink to match his clothes. We won't even go there.  
Anyway, it was a dark and stormy night. Actually, it wasn't night. And it wasn't stormy either. But that makes it sound so much more suspenseful. Well, it was a beautiful Saturday morning, and Espa Roba hadn't gotten any sleep last night because of number 8. He was in the process of making breakfast for numbers 4 and 5 when the doorbell rang.  
"Hey 3, can you go get that?" He yelled.  
"Make 5 get it! I'm trying to do my homework."  
"That'll be the day!"  
"5, could you get it?"  
"No."  
"Okay, how about 1?"  
"Um, big brother, you're number 1!"  
"Okay, never mind! How about 7?"  
"What? No! I'm not going out there with blue hair!"  
"Okay, 2! Pretty please?"  
"Sorry. No can do."  
"4?"  
"I'm eating breakfast! Duh-huh!"  
"8?"   
"He can't walk yet! Don't you know anything?"  
"Sorry about that! Okay, 6, get it!"  
"No. You get it!"  
"Okay."  
Espa Roba (also known as brother number 1) opened the door and saw and extremely scary sight.   
It was Joey Wheeler. And some other people (girls). But they don't count. Only Joey was scary.   
"What do you want, Wheeler?" He asked, baring his fangs. But he doesn't have fangs. But if did have fangs, he would be baring them.   
"Hey, we came to ask you a favor." Said one of the girls (the one with black hair).  
"What, girl?" He asked. He didn't like the girl. Her hair wasn't brushed very well. And she wasn't wearing makeup. And she was wearing boy's clothes.   
"What?"  
"What?"  
"What?"  
"What?"  
"What?"  
"WHAT??????????"  
There was a long silence.   
"Listen Roba, we need you to help us find Yugi's head."  
"Why?"  
"Because it's gone!"  
"Oh, well you know, it was probably one of those people in the Culto Muerto del Cabello. You know who they are, right?" Espa Roba said.  
Tea burst into tears. "Why doesn't anybody understand me? Or friendship? I mean, friendship is just so friendly...and nice...and important. Friendship is the most special gift God gave us...the ability to have friends."  
"Yes, that's nice. Anyway, we need help finding Yugi's head, and since you're psycho and all that, we thought maybe you could tell us where it is!" Joey stated.  
"Um..." Espa Roba said. He didn't really have psychic powers. He didn't have any powers at all. But he couldn't let them know that! He had to say something! But what if he told them the wrong thing? And they found out he wasn't psychic? So he said the only thing he could think of. "My psychic powers are clouded. They tell me that you must go on a quest. A great quest for Yugi's head. And you may not receive any help from the cosmic forces of the universe until the quest is complete." He slammed the door.  
  
Mokuba was really excited. Espa Roba thought he was a girl, but that was okay. Anyway, he was really excited because Espa told them to go on a quest. Mokuba knew a lot about quests. In quests, the brave knight (him) had to go rescue the beautiful princess (Tea) from a dragon or something, and the knight and the princess ended up falling in love and living happily ever after. That sounded really cool! The only thing he had to do now was get Tea kidnapped by a dragon.   
  
Tea was not very excited. Espa Roba thought Mokuba was a girl, but that was good. Anyway, she was not excited because Espa told them to go on a quest. Tea knew a lot about quests. In quests, the brave knight (Mokuba) had to go rescue the beautiful princess (her) from a dragon or something, and the knight and the princess ended up falling in love and living happily ever after. That did not sound very cool. Now all she had to worry about was being kidnapped by a dragon.   
  
Joey was clueless. Espa Roba thought Mokuba was a girl, but that was understandable. But Espa Roba had also told them to go on a quest. 'What's a quest? Oh it must be that thing where the brave knight (Mokuba) has to go rescue the beautiful princess (Tea) from a dragon or something, and the knight and the princess end up falling in love and living happily ever after.' That sounded...well, it sounded like something. Now all he had to worry about was Tea getting kidnapped by a dragon.  
  
Tea Gardner may not have been enthusiastic about this quest thing, but she had to find Yugi's head so she could kiss it, and besides, Espa Roba told them to go on a quest so that's what they were going to do! "Guys, I think it's time to start questing...for our friend...ship."  
  
[1] literally means "the cultured dead person of the hair" although we were trying to get "the Dead Hair Cult". But that's okay. We tried.   
  
A/N: Okay, wasn't that grand? Of course it was! Anyhoozles, I hope you liked it and r/r! Bye!  
~Jay 


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